Medication Melt Down

So let me play a little catch up with you all...

Tuesday I went to school seemingly fine. When school was about to start I was feeling weird. I started telling my friend about it and then she came up and hugged me. I was talking to no one. Things just got worse. I was hearing voices and saw random thing and people. Obviously my new meds were fucking with me. The problem was I couldn't find a way home.

(Cation this is ranty) My dad can't pick me up cause he works an hour away and my gram was out of town. Granted I am sick a lot but I think going from med to med doc to doc I have a bit of a fucking reason to be home. I may not have needed to be home a few days but it's not like I skip. Anyway I ask my sister to get me and she won't cause she's pissed seemingly at me. I ask my aunt and eventually I get a ride from her. Now I don't want to bash my aunt, she was in a bad mood when she got me. The point is she said some not so nice things out of anger and thought I was lying about how I felt. After screaming a while I get dropped off.

About halfway home I remembered I have no key and there is no spare... it's Michigan so there was snow... I'm alone, locked out, the only open inner window is mine. I start ripping out the screen so I can crawl through then the window falls. I'm still balling my eyes out from earlier and my neighbor sees me with a screen in one and and my bag in the other. She invites me inside then leaves me alone so she can run errands. About twenty minutes later my aunt calls saying sorry and ends up picking me up. I stay with her and talk to til about two then pass out til four thirty.

My dad gets me and I go home. I fall asleep til nine then wake and go to be like midnight.

Wednesday I went to school on a emotional roller coaster from I'm assuming from the with draw of meds. It was slowly getting better then I went to fifth hour. We got new seats. I was facing the whole room closest to the door in the front of the room. Perfect for me in a room of strangers. She moved we to the far wall facing away from EVERY ONE! I was stuck there all hour! (she changed my seat today to the middle of the room in a more open space.) I pretty much spent the rest of the day sleeping.

So, today School was better but still oober tired. Plus I remember why I hate typing at home. Too much family drama. I was supposed to go to the doctors today too but we lost insurance for who the hell knows what reason so I canceled.

What is cool is the Internet is on for our one living computer and the house insurance money came back. See, earlier the electric went all cookoo for coco puffs and pretty much everything blew. Good new I get a new laptop and tv for graduation. Haha! XD Plus tomorrow I'm making the call to schedule my drivers test. I have a car so once I get the license I get to see my new girlfriend who lives in another city.

Sleepy now. About to eat something then cuddle with my kitties. Night night. X)

Done with Fear and Done with Tears

I'm back and will post once a week and have a log for everyday. Finding the internet it kind of difficult. I have to always make a run to the library. If you noticed this blog was disabled. Well I brought it back. I don't care what people say about the past anymore. I'm done with it.

So the bad news is I have no working computers or internet at home. The good news is:
I have one kitty named bambino almost a year old. (Still peeing on the floor but working on that)
I have my friend's kitty since he moved away so she is a temporary guest I'm glad to have.
My college should be paid in full plus dorm at Baker. (Major in Human Sciences)
I am about to fucking graduate! Hell yeah!
I will leave with an accumulative 2.6 GPA and (so far) a 3.6 just for this year.
I'm adoring a girl who seems to like me in return I think this could really go somewhere.
I have a great gram who supports me.
Some new meds that are doing wonders.
I still work at McDonald's but hey, it's a paycheck.
I have an amazing best friend and even though he can be a pain in the ass, I don't know where I'd be without him.

I'm much better. No cutting. If I drink it is a little wine with dinner and not often. No pain meds or narcotics period. My hair is growing back out and to my shoulders. I'm slowly losing weight. Even a pound of weight is something, right?

If you follow me to listen to sob stories and about how I used bad methods to deal with pain then you might as well not listen. I'm done with depression and ready to live a full happy life I know I deserve.

My Love- Sia