My boring day

So today was pretty boring. I'm kinda tired to I'll list the events.

1)woke up waaaaayyyyyy to early
2)took a fast cold shower (stupid mom used all the hot water!)
3)Picked up my grandma and Great Aunt Elinor
4)My Aunt, Grandma, Mom, Dad, Brother, and I all went to my other aunt's funeral
5)boring funeral...
6)ate at the reception for the funeral
7)rode back home with all those people
8)napped in the car because I was to sleepy to get up
9)woke up half an hour after we got home
10)did some chores and messed around on my facebook
11)read some manga
12)went for a walk and cut my leg because of my stupid dog (I took the thing for a walk and I rolled of my pants since it was nice out, the stupid thing ran really fast after a squirrel and I fell down... sigh)
13)ate dinner and laughed at my mother who counted wrong (she made little burgers, three for each of us, but she counted wrong and only made 10 instead of 12. lmao)
14)watched Ponyo XD (loved it!)
15)wrote in my blog and is reading manga

It was a boring day but it wasn't bad. I only had one nose bleed (I've been getting a lot lately) and I feel pretty good. Now I'm going to finish my manga and watch LA Ink. Good Night World!

Random advise:Not everyday needs a goal. Sometimes it's nice to let things come as they will.

-MK

10 miles

All week I've felt bad. Today I was feeling better so I decided to go for a bike ride. My mom says I can't ride over the expressway. (Well she wasn't there.) lol. I biked about 2 miles on gravel and rocks (no bike trail) until I got to the park. I sat under a tree and read my book "One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest" (super good so far). It was so nice and peaceful. I was sitting next to a pond and once and a while a duck or goose would land in the water.

Since I biked faster than I'd thought I spent about a thirty minutes to myself until my friend came by. We biked a few more miles to "Bambino's" house. (Now me and Bambino have a funny story. You see I know he likes me and I like him, but we've never had a chance to really voice that to each other or talk about our feelings [scary thought]. It's like we can never find the time to get together. sigh.) I was really excited to see him and I waited outside. I was hoping we could talk. Have a serious conversation about what kind of relationship we have. All I got was a hug from him and a "What happened to your hair!" I assumed is was wind swept and it took six time for him to say that before he mentioned the color. It was all black. Since he's known me it's been all black. Now it's red and black and brown on bottom with blond on top. Plus my natural roots are coming in (dirty brown). It looks pretty bad. lol. Before I could say anything else he dropped something off in his house and didn't walk back outside.

It ended up I didn't see him again. Then my friend who met me at the park had to leave so I biked back home. I had to take the long way home since I got lost in his neighborhood and ended up coming out the wrong end. I biked about ten miles total. I ended up stopping at my friend Ashley's house. I was stressed so I vented a little bit which made me feel better. She is such a good friend. I don't know what I'd do without her. X)When I got home I found out I was locked outside because my brother took the only spare key. (My brother was at a friend's house, my dad was at a job interview, my mom was at work.) I sat outside about twenty minutes maybe less until my brother got back. I got inside, did the dishes (an hours worth. ugh.), cooked some spaghetti (my favorite meal), and picked up things around the house.

Now I'm pooped and now you know all about my day after school. lol. I'm going to get off now and watch some anime. Tomorrow I have to get up early for my aunt's funeral.

Random advise: If you don't have a good bike seat and you bike ten miles your butt will hurt more than your legs. X(

-Mary'K

Idk

I feel so lost right now. I have so much running through my mind. I have so many things I want to say. It's taking a lot out of me not to hurt myself.
Idk what else to say...

-MK

Awful

So I missed three days of school last week because I didn't feel well. I've missed over a quarter of the school year because I can't get better. I was sick Tuesday and Wednesday and went to school Thursday thinking I was better. I ended up staying home Friday because I wasn't better. My cousin spent Friday and Saturday night at my house. It took so much out of me not to complain about how I felt. Saturday I was at my older brothers and came to the discovery that I have ANOTHER bladder infection. This morning I was in tears and still went to church and tried to smile. Now I'm sitting home with just me and my dad. I think he's upset due to the fact I'm just mopey and depressed. I hate feeling like this.

My mothers comment to me always being sick is "You have to go to school". I used to love school. I used to love learning and reading and hanging out with friends but now I hate it. I hate school because I'm failing since I miss so much school. I hate hanging out with friends because the whole time I'm there I just want to cry and talk about my problems. I'm so self absorbed when I'm like this. I miss smiling and being happy. I miss who I used to be. My stomach hurts and my head aches and I want to cry. Things aren't going to work out with the guy I like either. My mother and I aren't on the best terms. I don't even talk to my sister that much anymore.

What's wrong with me? Why can't I be happy? Why can't I feel better? Why does it seem the gods have cursed me?

Sorry to those who read this. This is how I vent. My best friend the computer. How pathetic. I feel so pointless. I asked my someone how they are always so happy. They said it's because they are blessed. They thank god for everything. What can I thank god for? bills? pain? hurt? lies?

If you think you can cheer me up please help. I think I've lost any hope for joy in my life. I'm getting worse. I just want to get better.

Random advise: There isn't always a silver lining.

-MK

My dye job

So my day of silence turned into a fail. I ended up talking the whole day because I had to pick out a phone for my mother and me to share. I'm not letting her get a crappy one. Then I went to dinner with my grandma at the diner called Tony's. This place serves a pound of bacon with almost every meal. The portions are crazy. I just got a sandwich (I'm boring lol). At the end of the day I went to the doctors and found out I had another bladder infection. sigh. My antibiotic made my hands break out too. So now I'm all blistered and in pain. I have to wear gloves tomorrow sigh.

I did say I was going to post some new pic so here's a few of my bad bleach job. I have none of my hair now because I haven't had the energy to take a good picture of me. lol.




I'll get some new ones up soon. If you were wondering I didn't talk to my sister yet. I had a chance but since she and my best friend are the only one I can talk to I didn't. I don't want her to look at me and worry that I hurt myself. I don't want her to look at me like I need help. It'd just ruin me and I know it. I'm doing ok now. I think I just need to make sure I don't build up my emotions to much. I might not get on for a while because tonight I'm cutting my hair. I know my mom will yell at me but I say to bad. X)

So I'm going to shower, finish my homework, and go to bed. Maybe tomorrow my friend can get me some smokes. I only have one left so I want some more. Lets hope he's in a good mood. lol. X)

Random advise: If you have a two page paper due don't wait until the last minute to finish it. oops.

-MK

Day of Silence

April 16, 2010.
This is the photo I put on my facbook and my blog. It's an old photo but I liked it best. If you don't know what this is read the following...

The Day of Silence, a project of the Gay, Lesbian and Straight Education Network (GLSEN), is a student-led day of action when concerned students take some form of a vow of silence to bring attention to the name-calling, bullying and harassment -- in effect, the silencing -- experienced by LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender) students and their allies.


I have many friends who are guy and know people who were victims. People who were bullyed for being themselves. I'm supporting them by keeping my silence that day. I'm proud to do it too. X)

http://blog.dayofsilence.org/ (I haven't read it but if you're interested.)

http://www.dayofsilence.org/index.cfm (The officail website)

Random advise: Silence... the only thing stronger than the spoken word.

-MK

scars, prom, boyscouts oh my!

First off with scars. I'm feeling much better now. I think I worried my friend Ashley. -hugs- I'm sorry. Today I had a bit of a melt down but I kept in check. I didn't hit anything or hurt my self. I did cry a bit. It helped. The scar on the side of my leg is healing up fast. Since I didn't get through that much skin it's OK. I'd have been sad if I couldn't wear short skirts anymore.

Next subject prom. Yes I was asked to prom. A friend of mine wants me to go with her and Bob(dream guy) to prom. All as friends. sigh. I'm still not sure if I will go. I'm still deciding.

The last subject boy scouts! Tomorrow night I'm going to help my mom out with this church thing. I asked my dream guy and his ex (the girl he is living with) if they could help. My dream boy is in boy scouts and needs volunteer hours. So he has to come in his uniform. I find this great because he is this 6' 4'' man who is NO twig. lmao. He's not chunky or anything, but he's not really fit either. I'm excited to see him tomorrow since I haven't seen him in a few weeks. -fan girl scream- Idk why but his in a boy scout uniform is hot in my mind. Even I find it a little weird when I think about it but... mmmmm. I find it amazing. If I get my camera working I'll take pictures. X)

Sorry I had things in catagories like this. I just had some main points that I wanted to type out. I will be on tomorrow. I'm gonna take some muscle relaxers (my back kills), a hot shower, and go to bed. Have a good day world.

Random advise: Life is like a broken elevator. We can't control if we go up or down. We can hope and pray but we have to handle the things on the floor we're put on.

-MK

The Shower Scene

Last night I had a bit of a melt down in the shower. I had some split ends so I brought the scissors in the shower. I had some weird laps of judgement next thing I knew I was carving a two foot line into my leg. I stopped before I did any real damage. I cried all last night. I'm so scared. I spent all morning in bed sleeping and crying with a pillow over my face. (I missed school) I decided this is my wake-up call. I have a problem. I called my sister not to long ago. I'm gonna hopefully hang out with her tomorrow. I'm going to talk with her. I'll show her some of my scares. Tell her the things I couldn't before. I just hope I don't chicken out. Now I'm going to finish me ice cream and go to bed. I hope tomorrow goes well. Good news my parents found out I got an F and a few D's in school. They didn't really care so plus side for me.

Random advise: The truth hurts but not as much as the weight from a web of lies.

-MK

Sleep @ School

So today was really boring. I'm so tired. I slept through almost every class. I know you might be thinking why would you post on such a boring day. When the answer is I'm probably gonna be grounded soon. I bet you are wondering why. Well it's because I got some bad grades. I got a litle careless and waited until the last day to hand in missing homework. The last day to hand stuff in I was sick. I don't really care but I know my folks will be pissed. Lovely XP. I'll post my grades when I get them. Along with my pictures. My camera is giving me issues so... sigh.

Anyway about today. I did next to nothing. At school I slept almost all day.
History: Notes (I slept)
Bio: Notes (I slept)
English: Movie (I slept)
Geometry: Notes (I slept)
Chem: Test and a lab (I aced the test XD and did my lab in twenty minutes)
lunch: FOOD X)
more Chem: (I slept)
Service Learning: This is a stupid class that is pointless. I talked with my friends and napped a little.
Algerbra 2: My computer math program (I read manga)

Then I came home and surfed the web. Later I did dishes and went to my friends house. Then I ate dinner and was on the computer. Now I'm gonna take a shower and go to bed. I hope tomorrow is more exciting.

Random advise: If life gives you lemons make lemonaid. If school gives you a comfty seat sleep in it. X)

-MK

Quiting is for quiters.

As you know or don't know I have many issues. I was talking to one of my friends from last year. He was the guy that showed me the difference between admiration and affection. I thought I liked him but really I loved him like a big brother. I think of him as the big brother I always wanted. X) I've been catching up with him and both of us are have some personal issues. He's told me somethings I never knew about him. We really opened up to each other.

Anyway I was telling him that I have a smoke or a drink everyday. Last year I had some great friends who helped me feel better so I didn't smoke or drink often. I didn't cut at all then. When he found out my bad habits he got up set. I thought he'd be angry and call me an attention hog. That when we started talking and he just made me feel a whole lot better. I felt so happy. Some one was worried about me. So yesterday I didn't have any alcohol or smokes. I actually had my last smoke a few days ago so I'm all out. I'm being a good little girl. X)

I've been in such a good mood lately. Today I spent the day making bread. lol. If you don't know homemade bread takes a lot of time and effort. It took me about 5 hours. I made some vegan, whole wheat, dairy free, honey wheat bread. It was really good. Even my mom complimented me. X) I cleaned my sheets and picked up my room. I even found my Ipod (I thought it was stolen) that's been gone for months. I need to get my cord back from my older brother so I can charge it. (He just got back from Kansas.)

So here's the last few days in a nut shell. Oh. Also there is no new blog. I didn't feel like writing it. I am working on a new story though so I might post it in my blog if I get around to typing it. Well I have school tomorrow so I should go to bed. I get to show off my new hair. I forgot to put that over break I stripped the black out(it turned red) and bleached it(it only took to my brown roots). Then I stripped it again(it turned lighter and brown) then I bleached it(it burnt to bad so we had to take it off). Then we dyed it a icky light brownish color(it has to look semi natural for school). I'll make sure to post picture when I get them on the computer. I'm gonna read a new yaoi I found X) and go to bed. I had no nightmares last night so cross your fingers for another good night for me.

Random advise: What's the best way to find the manga you're looking for? Go to ask.com X) I <3 YAOI!!! -fangirl scream-

-Mary'K

new blog

Nothing special is going on. I just thought I'd let the one person who reads this know I'm not dead yet. Also I'm going to start a new blog. My doctor wants a food journal so I'm making a food blog. I'll post my food and measurements daily. Now I feel like reading manga. Know any good Yaois?

Random advise: At an Apostolic-Pentecostal church speaking in tongues does not mean other languges. So don't be like me and go to a service with some friends and start speaking Italian. It's a no no.

-Mary'K