Another fire

So I ran off to my older brother's house to be with his family for the weekend. I thought it would be nice to get away and un-stress but I feel even more stressed. My phone is dead with no charger and I had plans Monday and can't get hold of anyone. I am tired and I hurt. At least this depression was keeping me from food but today I had at least 6,000 calories. I feel like shit and miss Nickolas and am worried. I just want to be home. I want to feel like I have a home. Right now I feel like I have no one. Ugh. I really hope all this bullshit can pass and everything can get better. I hope so anyway.

Random advise: Don't get too close to a fire.

-MK

stressed

Hey people. I'm still around. I've had kind of a down day. I feel gross and am seriously stressed. I realized today I don't stress about me. I held off how I felt so long that I ended up in emergency. I stress about Nickolas and where he will live. I stress about my friend living in dorms with me. I stress about my brother and his recent habits and friends. My father can't find work and I am pretty sure he deals. His bitch of a girlfriend has taken over my house, it's not even mine anymore. My grandma is in the hospital for pneumonia and it's looking bad. My cats need to go to the vet. My aunt just fond out she has breast cancer and her family can't take that kind of hit...

I just feel lost. I want to cry and have someone hold me and say it will all be okay. My biggest worry is Nickolas. He says he will die soon. He has insurance and can see doctors. he can find work. He can go to school. He just won't. I know it's his own doing. It still hurts. I am a friend for everyone. Where are my friends? Why is it no one helps me? I want to relax and be proud of my self for everything I've done and am doing. Instead I feel like shit physically and mental. here's no fun in that.

Random advise: breathe

-MK

Out of the E.R.

Well I had a fun visit last night... Yesterday I wasn't feeling well but kept blowing it off until I felt so bad I was curled up in a ball and was taken to the hospital. After an awful hospital experience I found I have bronchitis... No gym for a while which sucks.

So yeah, now I am relaxing in my dorm in pjs waiting for my dad to bring me my drugs. x) It was pretty funny in the hospital when they asked when I last smoked. I just looked at her and said I smoked today. Meaning weed. xD I just wanted to give an update to everyone. I will read other blogs, finish homework, have soup, then lay down with a book and listen to Dido. x) I just got Life For Rent yesterday for $3 at fye.

Random advise: Don't hold off if you feel sick.

-MK

Laundry day!

yeah yeah. I know I'm not around too often anymore and I really hate it but I have been busy. Finals are coming up soon and I am trying to figure out my living situation and such for the summer. Tonight I am at my house doing laundry and just bored. I hope everyone is well and no hard feelings to anyone who doesn't comment. I get that I am not here often. Sorry for the depressing shit but I just had to vent. Have a wonderful night everyone. :)

Random advise: End your day with a good thought and it should make your whole night better.

-MK

homework

I cannot do homework hhigh... lmao!
 -MK

Alone

No one comments. Few read. I feel like no one is a friend to me. I don't have friends I have thing in common with. The person I thought was my best friend doesn't think much of me. I just feel alone. This is that moment you realize you love someone and know they don't give a shit about you, but you can't get over them. Maybe I should go back to my tweezers. I was happy then. At least it felt like how people describe happy. I have no friends, little family, no sex, only food cause my I thought friend has food stamps. I am just that person you meet that helps you through a rough patch. You won't keep in touch. You won't worry. You won't help me back. Down the road of depression again. Did you miss me?

Random comment: I just have to hope it will all be okay in the end.

-MK

Club?

Hello again. Nothing much to talk about. I have been having a pretty  average week and have been enjoying the weather. I tried going to a club last night. That was a nightmare. I picked the wrong crowd to go with me. Anyway I saw Iron Man 3 which was awesome. I was expecting more but still good. So yum. going to the gym soon. I hope everyone who reads this is well. :)

Random advise: Go see Iron Man

-MK