I am a mess. I have fallen into depression again or something. I have a guy who wants to date me and I am losing my best friend. My family is falling apart. My brother maybe moving across country. If I am not on here often you now know why. There are too many people who read this blog. Sorry.

Alone

I am bored before class. I am sitting here all alone with nothing to do. I had a fun day so far. I got up early and went out with my grandma. It was such a nice day. I got to watch some gossip girl before I left and we went strait to the movies. I got to see les miserables. It was the best movie I have ever seen! I have never cried so much over a movie. I am so ready to see it again. It is such a beautiful romantic tragedy and the singing and music is basically orgasmic! I think everyone should see it. Any who we went out to eat afterwards and talked. We talked about my dad and his gf situation. It has gotten out of hand at home and the law may be involved soon. -sigh- Anyway I got dropped off not too long ago. Now bored... Well off to wander on the internet then to my class. Substance abuse... fuuuuun. If only I had a better teacher and better classmates. Tata peoples.

I am sorry

My roommates are driving me up a wall. My sister is a bitch. I can't sleep of focus. I have no place to be in peace. I have no home. My father is an addict and my brother is out of control. I just need help... It seems when I am the most alone, the most in need, no one is around. tomorrow I am going to the bank buying some smokes and hair dye to feel better. Yes I want to smoke. I may even get booze from someone so I can drink. I just want to be able to relax. feel better. I figure I deserve some peace. Plus I have a guy bugging to meet me who I really like which bothers me. No one just wants to see me. I just keep being so negative and just want to feel some fucking happiness. I dream of putting myself down and it is becoming unbearable and I am sure the few really only one person who reads this doesn't really give a fuck.

Sorry, I just need to relax. I just feel like a mess...

Random link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vPLrqKrnYts

Love, MK.

P.S. Thank you for those who do read this whether you comment or not. I really do appreciate you. I just seem to be in a bad place recently.

IN CLASS!

I'm in class. I am suppposed to be working on my paper. shhhhh. Anyway I have had some awesome time recently. Yes a roony! Nickolas is awesome too. I had this whole I hate my life moment and he held me and gave me the best back massage of my life. I have been getting much sex darrlings but that may end soon. The Mary'K is kind of into a guy. I know, shocker. But I will cross that penis when it gets here.

Recently I have been obsessed with MineCraft. That game is the SHIT! I was up until 10 am Saturday night playing. Then woke at 6pm on Sunday to get a free taco dinner and play more! I was up until 6am last night/this morning play minecraft and doing homework. I spent all my time on a timeline not due until wed and didn't finish my rough draft but -shrugs- I got it done between classes.

So tonight I will be going to the cafe and extra special awesomeness news... MY MOM MADE ME COOKIES! Yes my mother. She did leave me but she will send cash and presents so I grin and bare it. I won't be so heartless we do talk and I enjoy ost conversations. I think us apart makes the relationship easier. lol

So thanks for reading my rushed yammering. I will post something else before bed. Promise. ;) I know I don't type all the time but I am still here. For the first time in a long time I am not typing as much because I am off having fun instead of being a depressing goober. Well off I go before class is out. Byebye peoples. I have a skype btw so maybe we can chat sometime. I loooves peoples. X) I'll comment later too.

Random me: MineCraft = Braingasm!

Love, MK.

Back to class

So I moved back into school. Now that things have settled I feel much better. I have some nice classes so far and am happy to be back. I am pretty tired though so I'll keep this short. I'll talk more tomorrow. x)

Random fact: I am in a good place and it is only getting better.

Love, MK.

Soul Searching XD

Yeah that title is kinda bullshit. I am making a list of things a plan to do this year. Well most of it won't start until I move back to the dorms but whatever. So I feel much better. Now off to more internet things x)

Love, MK.

Now to the New Year (plus pictures)

So I was sick the night before new years eve which sucked. I was throwing up and felt awful. I also made plans that were ruined by a friend. -sigh- I'd rather not talk about that since it upsets me. So I spent New Years Eve at my house with Nickolas. We just watched netflix and didn't do much of anything. I didn't even get a New Years kiss but whatever. I planned on writing more but I feel kind of down and lost. great start to the new year huh? I'm sick of my house and ready for school to start up again so I can move back into my dorm and get some more freedom. So I spent my first day of the new year making my father and friends mad.

Part of me wants to run away. I don't mean find just a new location. I mean I want to disappear  I want to take what I can carry and run off. Even if only for a while I would be nice. No friends or family. No responsibility  No job and no school. No way to find me. Sounds like a dream... Well moving past that I will post some pictures of me for you. Nothing too exciting. I just thought you'd like to see the face behind the words.

The day after the piercing

 Am I a photo whore or what?! XD

Random noise: moo.

Love, MK.

To Christmas and Beyond!

SO my last post was before xmas. Sorry I have been gone. I have been really busy and distracted. SO lets see here...

Nothing fun really happened on the 23rd so I will skip to the 24th. (This will be a long post) Christmas eve I made a Pecan pie and let me tell you, this things was the shit. I plan to make more pies in my future. XD I was still at Nickolas's mother's house. Us three and the landlord all had a Christmas eve dinner. Val (him mom) made clam chowder. Making being she poured cams into a pot and warmed it. I made myself tomato because clam chowder is icky. We opened Christmas eve gifts too. Me and Nickolas got Pj pants. I always get PJs... I have way too many but -shrugs- they are warm. We went to Christmas Eve mass at a dinky little church. There was maybe a dozen people. It was the size of a small barn. Everyone there but me Val, and Nickolas was either directly related to the priest or part of the mass. That was... fun... Once we got home we watched Rock of Ages. That movie was fucking AWESOME! I loved it so much and recommend it to anyone who likes classic rock and comedy. We finally went to bed at 4 am. Well his mother did anyway. I was stuck listening to Nickolas whine about how he wanted to open gifts. He got bored and started teasing me. Next thing you know I had some of the best sex of my life. I mean multi orgasmic, mind shattering, hair destroying sex. We went to bed about 5 and he woke me up at 9.

On Christmas we got up at 9 fucking am because an impatient little child haaaaad to open presents. Not to be mean but my gifts kinda sucked. Everything Nickolas got his mother picked from his list or bought with me. My gifts, well they were not really for me. I got a lotion I am re-gifting cause it'll rash my skin. Some instant coffee. I like coffee but... ew. There was stockings with some candy and socks that are ugly and uncomfy too. You get my point. I made most of Christmas dinner... well all of it basically. She was too distraced to help cook. The neighbor came over and we ate. Later we all watched dumbo then me and nickolas watched fox and the hound.

Skipping forward to the 27th now. That day was... special. The summary of everything is my dad had to pick us up because our ride canceled.  Then not even an hour before leaving Nickolas and Val had at it. She was nit picking and next thing you know she is yelling and he's arguing. She left the house five minutes before my dad got there. I doubt we will be going back again...

The rest of the week up til now had been stressful. Mainly because the bitch that has yet to leaving. Yes the chick my dad is with is still here. She just pisses me off. She has managed to take my only pair of slippers and my only two blankets. Anyway I got some nice clothes and a gorgeous cross(even though I am not christian I plan to wear it it is so pretty) and she gave me a fluffy blanket which is awesome. X) So I will end the post here. I will add more about new years eve and shit in another post right after this one. I don't want to be negative or whiny anymore so I will move on.

Random fact: My favorite color is silver, even though most don't consider it a color.

Love, MK.