Frustrated

Now that I am out of school and have a job and am single I feel really depressed. I'm luck "cheer the fuck up ya dumb bitch" but I can't get out of it. For the first time in years my legs are soft and in the dark you cant even really tell I cut, which is weird. I feel like I need to destroy myself because my scars are part of me and when they go away so do I. Weird but the truth. I have so many reasons to be happy and I wanna fuck it all up.

Anyway Today was long and boring. I got up for work. I got home and did some cleaning. Then worked out way too much. I'm afraid I'm becoming anorexic again. Grr! Holy shit I need to calm down and get my stuff together. So my life is pretty boring. I do my best to deal. I hope tomorrow is a good day. I have no work and the house to myself until five. I'm only up because dumb me chugged a five hour energy. Fail!

I'm pretty sure I'm done ranting now... I should sleep. If you are religious at all put some prayers out to my friend Nick. He going through just life struggle and could use some guidance from whatever he can get. Thank y'all.

Random advice: Don't drink five hour energy at 3am when you are ready to pass out. Weirdest bad feeling ever.

-MK