There is nothing really important to say. I just can't think of what to do. I can't consintrate on homework or even read a book. (I love reading) So now I can't think of what to do. I did find out my parents are very unobservent. On facebook sometimes I'll put a sad status. Nothing strange or out of the ordianry. I type out things I would say all the time, but it seems like everyone knows somethings wrong. I noticed if someone hasn't seen my face they know how I feel. My one friends sent me a message saying they're just a phone call away I responded I'm fine and if I need something I'll call. I ended it with a smiley face. After I sent it I started crying. Why can't I just tell people the truth. Also I totaly chickened out when I tried talking to my sis. So what did I do... I opened an old scar.
I got rid of any razors in my room. I even threw out my tweesers! I did all I could to keep myself safe. No matter what I do I still find something... I'll break a plastic spoon... I'll get a pencil... I'll find a saftey pin... I've used my nails (I cut them down to nubs now).
I just wish someone would stop me but only one person knows. She doesn't know how bad it is. Recently I can't just slice. I scratch and scratch until I have a two inch deep scar. I'm scared. I started crying again. I'm gonna take something and lie down. I can't go to bed since I have to babysit my little bro later.
Random statment: Pie can equal two things... either it's a type of pastery or 3.14159... (I hate math class)
-Mary'K
About Me
- EviltwinMK
- GB, Michigan, United States
- We all have our own story. We all have certain things we do that keep us sane. Those certain things that constitute as our sanities. Well these are my sanities. These are the sanities of a crazy person...
Sometimes people are just so tuned into their own worlds that they are not very receptive to others. It even happens with parents and their offspring. When I was living with my son and his father, I often didn't pay attention to him because of my mental issues and drug habits... I feel awful for it, but there's nothing I can do to fix it. Maybe try just opening up to them sometime. Maybe they need to be confronted with it head on instead of just trying to get them to take little hints...
ReplyDeleteAs for the cutting... Well, I think I've said this before, but cutting is a release, darling. It's a release of emotion or a way to feel something. Sometimes if you don't do it, it can actually make things worse. Most people don't see it as an acceptable form of helping yourself, but I do. There have been times where if I hadn't cut myself, it would have graduated to the next stage and I wouldn't be here trying to help you. A few scars on your body can save your life.
Wishing you the best, sweetie! I hope you start feeling better soon! <3
+Rei+