Winter Guard

I'm not quite sure what to write. Everything has been a blur lately. I've had a lot of guys in my life lately too. My friend Tyler has been talking to me a lot lately. I miss him. You see he goes to my old school and I won't see him next year because he's going to college. Then my other friend wants to have sex with me. I said I don't want to and he keeps asking. It's not like he's making me but he'll ask and give a puppy dog face. It's kinda cute really but no is no. Then my friend (we'll call him bob)Bob... well there's not much to tell. I went to his winter guard performance (it's like color guard). He gave me the best back rub ever X). Then later we were in the school hallway trying to leave. It was packed (one hallway and over 20 teams). SO he pushed me against the wall and it was funny until he started tickling me. You see our other friend (his ex) is shorter than me. So he meant to tickle my lower stomach... well since I'm taller he went a little lower. I could feel my face turn red. He said sorry but I really wish he'd done it on purpose. He's like perfect for me but he doesn't like me. He's so perfect for me. He's tall, smart, good with cars, like the same music, likes the same books (we read the same series), we both like anime, and he wants to get a motorcycle (HOTTTT). I want one really bad too. I don't know what to do. I don't know where my life's going. No one said life was easy though. I smile more so that's enough for me. When I think of Bob everything melts away. If I think of doing something stupid I won't because I know if I do I won't see him. I even stopped cutting!! If I ever to get with him I don't want to fear that I might tear a scab. I hate using the word love but... I think I might need to use it if I get my way.

Random fact: Winter guard is way to hard if you are flexible, fast, and coordinated. It's hard for me anyway...

-Mary'K