I woke up feeling like shit today. I drank more than I ever have before. I once had a light hangover but it wasn't much. I feel like shit right now. It's been a boring day. Nothing fun for mommy day. I read over my last post and I'm glad no one was over. I seriously woke up a thought I dreamt a few conversations... I was wrong. There are "some" typed words to "some" friends (more like 6. sigh.) I'd like to take back. sigh. I feel really depressed. I hope the meds I get tomorrow will help. I seriously need to back off the drinking. I was doing great and had no smokes or alcohol since the 26 of April. I failed.
Idk what to think about me saying I like girls either. I really don't know. UGH!!! This is frustrating! I hate falling into the stereotypical teenager section. The one whose stupid and confused and can't find them self. -bangs head on screen- (owwwwwwww) I need to ponder this. The girl I was talking about read this right after I wrote it too. sigh. Idk what to say to her. She'll probably read this soon anyway. She is going to spend two night this coming weekend as well. (If you're reading this I really don't know what to say to you right now. I'm sorry.)
A note for Rei: When I cut it's like getting high. I'm happy and giddy and feel amazing. When it starts to scab is when I feel depressed. That's not until a few days later though. sigh. When that happens a feel the need to cut again. Then I'm all happy again. Btw if things don't work out with Rob and you're single I bet I'll be available in just a few more years. Hell! Now sounds fine. I won't tell if you won't lol.
Random advise: Know your limits...
-Mary'K
About Me
- EviltwinMK
- GB, Michigan, United States
- We all have our own story. We all have certain things we do that keep us sane. Those certain things that constitute as our sanities. Well these are my sanities. These are the sanities of a crazy person...
A question for people.
ReplyDeleteI take 200mg Ibuprofen. How many pills is too many?
Please tell me if you know. Thanks.
Ah, the joys of alcohol... It's going to take awhile, darling, but you will learn your limit one day. Sometimes I wonder if I know mine... Do not stress over drunken randomness typed on the internet, everybody does it and anyone that takes it seriously is a fool... Just chalk it up as a night of fun and don't hang onto the regrets, it will get you nowhere.
ReplyDeleteYou're not a stereotypical teenager, I don't think... Miss "Coffin Club" is, but not you... I think you're a pretty unique individual who is just going through the same motions as all of us do when we're teens.
Also, if you were closer, you know I would... I don't care much for the law or the authorities and I wouldn't say a word... hehe
As for the cutting, I get the same feeling when I do it. It's a release of sorts, and the feeling of euphoria is common. I just didn't know if you were feeling that way before you did it or not. Whatever, as long as you are doing it safely, I won't worry myself over it...
And now the matter of the Ibuprofen... What does your prescription bottle say to take? I'm on 800 MG of this crap and I'm supposed to take it 3 times a day. I would follow the dosing instructions on the bottle if at all possible, darling. Ibuprofen can seriously fuck with your stomach if you take too much. Still, I don't think an extra pill or two a day is going to kill you. Just please don't take it with alcohol, as the risk for internal bleeding skyrockets when you do that...
I hope you recover from your nice night, darling. And I hope your friend doesn't get mad at you or misunderstand what you said... If she does, that's pretty petty if you ask me... <3
+Rei+
Thanks Rei. You always seem to make me feel better. Send me a meesage if you're ever in Michigan darling. lol.
ReplyDeleteHave to admit that I do find meself more than I'm currently able/allowed to admit within your writing.
ReplyDeleteWishing you a bright start into the whole new week.