I just don't know who I am anymore. I use to want to write and sing but now I'd kill to do something thrilling. Like be a spy or in the front lines of war. I thought I was strait but I can't even get excited thinking about a guy anymore. I thought I was an innocent person but I found out girls have broke up with their man because the girl thought he was cheating on her with me. NOT TRUE! I thought I was happy but now all I do is cry. I thought I was ugly and not worth shit but people keep telling me I'm beautiful. I just don't get it. Why did I change so much. I'm losing control! Some girl asked for my advise on how to stop cutting. She asked why I did. I couldn't think of an answer. Shit for brains me ruined my month and a half of good skin. I don't know me anymore. I'm not Mary'K. I'm changing.
All my skin problems are stopping. I don't need my glasses for reading anymore. I'm scared. I'm falling apart, or in this case being put together against my will. My most resent scar is as light as one that was from a two months ago. I want to see a doctor bit what am I supposed to say?! "I'm feeling better! Fix me"?! I can't sleep at night anymore either. I can't sleep until the sun is up. When I see the daylight I get so tired I fall asleep mid type. I think I'm finally going crazy! FUCK!!! I just want to know what wrong or right. My head stopped hurting as well. It hasn't hurt once in about a week when I normally have attacks several times a DAY! I just don't know anymore.
Random advise: don't ask Mary'K because she doesn't know shit!
-Mary'K
About Me
- EviltwinMK
- GB, Michigan, United States
- We all have our own story. We all have certain things we do that keep us sane. Those certain things that constitute as our sanities. Well these are my sanities. These are the sanities of a crazy person...
Maybe you're becoming one of us? (A vampire) ;) Mary, I wish I had an answer for you, but I really don't. You will find yourself, darling. Things change a lot in life, many times without notice. That includes how we feel, what we want to be, etc.
ReplyDeleteIt can be scary at times, I will admit. I've gone through more changes in my life than anyone should ever have to. I didn't know if I wanted to be dead or alive half of the time... Then of course there was all of the bullshit with Rob and Timothy that nearly drove me into a permanent state of madness...
Life is a very hard road to traverse... Sometimes there are thorns on the path and we must suck it up and walk over them, and feel the pain with each step... Please, just keep walking, darling. There is light up ahead... <3 *Hugs*
+Rei+
Thanks rei. I hope you're right.
ReplyDelete